April 19, 2010

A Not So Happy Birthday

April has always been a busy month filled with happy occasions. It is the month of many birthdays, anniversaries and usually, holidays.  This year, however, it is one birthday less.  The candle is lit, the balloon went up to the heavens and I miss my mommy every minute of every day.  There's so much going on in my life right now and she's the only person that I want to share it all with.  She's the only one that can give me real advice and wisdom.  As I type, with tears on my eyes, my thoughts drift away to happier times.  I love you mommy, родная, любимая. Wherever you are, I hope you're better and looking over me, too. <3

Mommy's Last Birthday 04/19/09 @ Old Castle Cafe

Своей я маме посвящаю
Свои победы и удачи,
К своей я маме прибегаю,
Когда бывают неудачи.

Она поймет меня, рассудит,
Всегда поможет мне советом,
Я только маме доверяю
Свои сердечные секреты.

Когда я стану чуть постарше
И у меня родятся дети,
Я постараюсь объяснить им,
Что лучше мамы нет на свете!
 Ты отдала семье так много лет -
Готовила, стирала и пекла, Дарила нам своей улыбки свет,
Очаг семейный чутко берегла.
Заботой на заботу отвечая,
Мы все тебя боготворим.
И к сожалению, тебя сегодня нет, но
От всей души за все тебя благодарим!
Как больно жить без сердца мамы.
Мамуля, милая моя
Тебя мне в жизни не хватает,
Я без тебя совсем одна.

Как трудно в этой жизни
Без мамочки идти.
Тропою одинокой
В мучительные дни.

Всегда я представляю
В моих глазах тебя,
И слезы набегают,
Как капельки дождя.

April 15, 2010

Random acts of kindness

I've always been obsessed with quotes and sayings, because wisdom
imparted by various individuals throughout time is relevant today, to
me. It shows that human nature has no boundaries of language, time or
geographical location. We may have evolved as a civilization, but the
same human truths that were relevant 2000 years ago have not changed.
People need three basic things for survival - food, shelter and love.
I digress.

Love comes in many shapes, forms and sizes, but I won't babble about
what writers, philosophers and scientist have tried to explain for
centuries. I will say that lying in bed after an uneventful evening
in the privacy of my 4 (rather 3) walls an email from a complete
stranger with a simple comment meant more to me then the long awaited
and even longer debated dinner with two of my closest friends.

Sometimes, these random acts of kindness lift us out of a dark void,
if only temporarily, "because despite everything, I really believe
that people are really good at heart." (Anne Frank). Sometimes a
stranger can impart more wisdom then your most valued confidant and
sometimes you just need an impartial reassurance of what you already
believe, but doubt. Sometimes a candle lights the way.

"When you see light at the end of the tunnel, it may be the headlights
of an oncoming train."

Sent from my mobile device

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
-Randy Pausch

Remembering . . .

I came across this quote by Pericles on my new follower's, Nova San's blog, "What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." I cannot even begin to describe the depth and perspective that this short saying means to me, right now as I'm trying to finalize my mom's monument. Translating English to Hebrew, Hebrew to English, abstaing from Russian, trying to find the right symbols, images and words and nothing seems fitting - no piece of engraved granite slab will ever describe my mother. No words will ever do her character and persona justice. I am my mother's daughter, her sole offspring and what she instilled in me during the very short time that she was here [with me] will forever remain within me and hopefully will be passed down to my future children.

Her life didn't touch mine alone and I am certain that there are many  people that will remember her birthday this coming Monday, a day after the 8 month anniversary of her passing and I hope that I won't be the  only one to light a candle. Although, the candle, much like the monument is nothing but a symbol, a tradition, a way of remembering someone that you will never forget.
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